March 28, 2013
ahotsecond: Okay, so changing your profile pic may not mean much to a lot of you. It’s okay. You’re thinking this doesn’t really do anything. I get that. Okay. But it does something for me. I’m gay. To some extent I’m completely out, some not at all. It really depends on who. Like most gays (aside from the ever-present fabulously flamboyant types), we don’t find a need to plaster that all over the place, so how else would you know, random person on the street or Facebook friend from 20 years ago? So if any of you keep up with me…sometime last year I decided to start reconnecting with people I hadn’t talked to in a long time. A few of these people would be from the tiny southern town in Illinois where I grew up all through elementary school. Our family was the only other Asian family in the town where we were assumed to be related to the Filipino family. I mean, we all have Asian eyes, right?! Anyway, in lieu of contacting old friends, I emailed someone who I had considered the big sister I never had. Within my second email, I made sure to “out” myself, mostly because I felt that it would pertain to my story in catching up. She ignored me for a month or so. Then, she replied with “I don’t believe in same sex relationships, but I’ll love you no matter what.” I replied once more with my defense of being gay & it not being a choice, in hopes that it would make it easier. I haven’t heard from her since. So this entire time from those emails, in my mind, I had assumed that a good majority of those people in my small town, of which I went to a Catholic school no less, couldn’t accept me. I didn’t blame them. They grew up thinking a certain way & sometimes people are just beyond understanding. But when these HRC logos started popping up as profile pics, it changed me. People I grew up with were on my side, whether they knew it or not. These tiny gestures became a big sigh of relief on my part and have given me comfort in reconnecting again. (No one also blatantly spoke out against gay marriage or the like. Those would have been out of my life completely. But for most, I just could never tell one way or another.) So that’s my piece on the whole matter. Changing your damned FB profile pic does not change the world. Fine. But for some like me, it makes all the difference. What I wanted to explain to people snarking others for changing their default pictures, ahotsecond says perfectly.

ahotsecond:

Okay, so changing your profile pic may not mean much to a lot of you. It’s okay. You’re thinking this doesn’t really do anything. I get that. Okay. But it does something for me.

I’m gay. To some extent I’m completely out, some not at all. It really depends on who. Like most gays (aside from the ever-present fabulously flamboyant types), we don’t find a need to plaster that all over the place, so how else would you know, random person on the street or Facebook friend from 20 years ago?

So if any of you keep up with me…sometime last year I decided to start reconnecting with people I hadn’t talked to in a long time. A few of these people would be from the tiny southern town in Illinois where I grew up all through elementary school. Our family was the only other Asian family in the town where we were assumed to be related to the Filipino family. I mean, we all have Asian eyes, right?! Anyway, in lieu of contacting old friends, I emailed someone who I had considered the big sister I never had. Within my second email, I made sure to “out” myself, mostly because I felt that it would pertain to my story in catching up. She ignored me for a month or so. Then, she replied with “I don’t believe in same sex relationships, but I’ll love you no matter what.” I replied once more with my defense of being gay & it not being a choice, in hopes that it would make it easier. I haven’t heard from her since.

So this entire time from those emails, in my mind, I had assumed that a good majority of those people in my small town, of which I went to a Catholic school no less, couldn’t accept me. I didn’t blame them. They grew up thinking a certain way & sometimes people are just beyond understanding. But when these HRC logos started popping up as profile pics, it changed me. People I grew up with were on my side, whether they knew it or not. These tiny gestures became a big sigh of relief on my part and have given me comfort in reconnecting again. (No one also blatantly spoke out against gay marriage or the like. Those would have been out of my life completely. But for most, I just could never tell one way or another.)

So that’s my piece on the whole matter. Changing your damned FB profile pic does not change the world. Fine. But for some like me, it makes all the difference.

What I wanted to explain to people snarking others for changing their default pictures, ahotsecond says perfectly.

(via inothernews)

1:45pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZzulayhLTghS
Filed under: human rights campaign facebook lgbt queer prop 8 doma hrc 
December 15, 2012

On-Air with Doug posted the trailer for a documentary called (A)Sexual on his Twitter feed today. The world of asexual individuals is something I know very little about, so I’m looking forward to checking this out during the holiday break.

(A)Sexual is now streaming on Netflix, if you’d like to take a watch. 

12:00pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZzulayZP8TJR
Filed under: asexual dan savage documentary films lgbt movies netflix on air with doug queer sexuality twitter 
November 7, 2012

For the first time in my life, I see myself and the people I love represented in our government. Mazie Hirono became the first Asian-American elected to the U.S. Senate. Tammy Baldwin became the first openly lesbian Senator. Tammy Duckworth became the first disabled woman elected to the House. An African-American president, the first, was re-elected for a second term.

This is my American family. And I’m proud to live here.

We’re not perfect, we’ve still got a lot more to accomplish. But we’re on our way. Last night, there were children watching the election results who will never know what it feels like to not feel represented in their country. Incredible.

(Photo credit: Duckworth, Baldwin, Hirono, Obama)

10:15am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZzulayWojn4H
Filed under: politics history mazie hirono tammy baldwin tammy duckworth barack obama usa america lgbt gay queer disabilities 
October 2, 2012
An event we’ve been working on the past couple of weeks takes place this Sunday, October 7th at The Mint in Los Angeles. Be there!

An event we’ve been working on the past couple of weeks takes place this Sunday, October 7th at The Mint in Los Angeles. Be there!

2:05pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZzulayUVjdjU
Filed under: aids Walk aids project los Angeles Max Wasa Hal Sparks events music music industry aids HIV LGBT queer gay celebrities queer as folk 
August 29, 2012
Ira Sachs’ Keep The Lights On is a beautiful, heartbreaking love story, and needs to be seen. Opens in select theatres September 7th. Watch the trailer here.

Ira Sachs’ Keep The Lights On is a beautiful, heartbreaking love story, and needs to be seen.

Opens in select theatres September 7th. Watch the trailer here.

11:50am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZzulaySNuOQN
Filed under: los angeles hollywood sundance films movies keep the lights on lgbt queer cinema ira sachs 
June 3, 2012
"But in this instance, I did not make the connection. I didn’t get it."

Jason Alexander (Seinfeld) was on Craig Ferguson’s show last week and during his interview, made a bit of a gaffe. He responded via Twitter with a solid, sincere apology.

Full letter absolutely worth the read.

Shortly after that however, a few of my Twitter followers made me aware that they were both gay and offended by the joke. And truthfully, I could not understand why. I do know that humor always points to the peccadillos or absurdities or glaring generalities of some kind of group or another – short, fat, bald, blonde, ethnic, smart, dumb, rich, poor, etc. It is hard to tell any kind of joke that couldn’t be seen as offensive to someone. But I truly did not understand why a gay person would be particularly offended by this routine.

However, troubled by the reaction of some, I asked a few of my gay friends about it. And at first, even they couldn’t quite find the offense in the bit. But as we explored it, we began to realize what was implied under the humor. (full text)

1:12pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZzulayMhWJok
Filed under: Jason Alexander apologies lgbt queer celebrities craig ferguson actors seinfeld twitter 
April 16, 2012

Don’t mind me, just playing the same teaser and feeling bummed, again, like I’ve done four or five times since discovering David W. Ross’s IndieGoGo campaign for “I Do” this weekend.

Seriously. Him standing in front of the window, alone. The hospital. Heart. Clenched.

Hoping he submits to NFMLA, or screens somewhere in LA. I need to see this.

9:07am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZzulayJmSU_k
Filed under: DOMA David W. Ross I Do IndieGoGo filmmakers films indie films lgbtq nfmla trailers lgbt queer 
April 16, 2011
"

When someone with the status of Kobe Bryant, arguably the best basketball player in a generation, hurls that antigay slur at a referee or anyone else — let’s call it the F-word — he is telling boys, men and anyone watching that when you are frustrated, when you are as angry as can be, the best way to demean and denigrate a person, even one in a position of power, is to make it clear that you think he is not a real man, but something less.

…Right now in America young people are being killed and killing themselves simply because of the words and behaviors they are subjected to for being perceived as lesbian or gay, or frankly just different. This is not an indictment of the individuals suffocated by their mistreatment, it is an indication of the power of that word, and others like it, to brutalize and dehumanize. This F-word, which so many people seem to think is no big deal, is the postscript to too many of those lives cut short.

As for the original apology, I am amazed that people still think apologizing in such a way as to make it clear that it was the victims who misunderstood is acceptable. I had hoped that the sorry-if-you-are-oversensitive school of apology would by now have been thoroughly discredited.

Many people balk when L.G.B.T. people, even black ones, suggest that the power and vitriol behind another awful slur — the N-word — is no different from the word used by Kobe. I make no attempt at an analogy between the historical civil rights struggle for blacks in the United States with the current human rights struggle for L.G.B.T. people, but I can say that I am frequently called both, and the indignation, anger and at times resignation that course through my body are no greater or less for either. I know with both words the intent is to let me know that no matter how big, how accomplished, philanthropic or wise I may become, to them I am not even human.

I am tired of people having this debate about the relative impact of pejorative words on their target minority group. If injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere, then the relative power of an antigay gay slur is irrelevant, it is simply a threat to human dignity, and that should appall us all.

"

—

Former NBA player JOHN AMAECHI, who is gay, writing in today’s New York Times, taking L.A. Laker Kobe Bryant to task for his non-apology over using a gay slur; Amaechi is also urging Bryant to not appeal the $100,000 fine levied against him by the NBA.
 (via inothernews)

This is wonderful. Well said.

(via inothernews)

10:45am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Zzulay4M13P8
Filed under: lgbtq african american queer basketball quotes new york times 
April 7, 2011
Sad to see another bookstore closing, but love picking up several books I’ve wanted to check out at markdown prices. Borders Pasadena is open for a few more days. I believe the cashier said they were closing the 10th or 14th of April. Quick list of what I picked up. Any recommendations on which I should read first? 365 Days, Chihuly (Read on the subway back. Love him.) The Selected Letters of Allen Ginsberg and Gary Snyder The Last Party: Studio 54, Anthony Haden-Guest Bad Girls Go Everywhere: The Life of Helen Gurley Brown, Jennifer Scanlon Sellevision, Augusten Burroughs Fame Junkies, Jake Halpern Love is a Mixtape, Rob Sheffield Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys, Melissa de la Cruz and Tom Dolby Stuff That Makes a Gay Heart Weep, Freeman Hall Let’s Spend The Night Together, Pamela Des Barres Waiting, Debra Ginsberg The Death of Bunny Munro, Nick Cave Salinger, Paul Alexander Everything Changes, Jonathan Tropper This is Where I Leave You, Jonathan Tropper

Sad to see another bookstore closing, but love picking up several books I’ve wanted to check out at markdown prices. Borders Pasadena is open for a few more days. I believe the cashier said they were closing the 10th or 14th of April.

Quick list of what I picked up. Any recommendations on which I should read first?

1:48pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Zzulay47dJOV
Filed under: allen ginsberg art books chihuly jd salinger literature queer cosmopolitan 
Liked posts on Tumblr: More liked posts »